Why aren't Matching Couple Rings for men more common?
It's so common to see a bride-to-be flashing her Unique Couple Jewelry on Instagram that we hardly think about why men aren't getting the ring they want to show off as well. Why is this? As it turns out, there are a myriad of historical as well as social and legal reasons--some interesting and some a bit shady according to modern standards--that women are wearing engagement rings while their fiances don't. This article will look at the history of engagement rings and the current trends affecting the way couples propose to each other. We'll also look at why there aren’t more “mangagement rings.
Things You Should Know
Historically, engagement rings defended the sexist belief that women "belonged" to men once they got engaged. They didn't wear them since they were more free of society.
In the early 1900s, men would give engagement rings to their future brides as "collateral" to protect them in the event they did not keep the engagement or damaged her reputation.
As gender norms shift men's engagement rings are becoming more well-known. Many men wear them to demonstrate their equality in relationships.
Why women wear engagement rings (and Men don't)
Due to outdated gender roles, men don't wear engagement rings.
In the past, men gave engagement rings to women to show that they were "taken" by them or that she "belonged" to him. This was often taken literally (in some cultures, women are viewed as subservient). Since men were not viewed as a commodity, they did not need engagement rings to show they were betrothed and the custom lasted for a long time.
The wedding ring also served as type of security in the event that the husband-to-be backed out of his promise to wed the bride, since it could damage her reputation as well as the likelihood of getting married in the future.
The Romans were among the first people to present rings to brides-to-be to signify that they had been "spoken for" or "off the market" (terms that still get used today to refer to metaphors).
In the early 20th century women kept engagement rings for "insurance."
In the early 1900s, the law in America codified the idea that women could keep the ring even if her husband to be broke the contract. The "Breach of Promise to Marry" law of 1945 allowed women to sue men who "broke their marriage contract" and kept the expensive diamond ring for compensation. The law was not repealed officially however, most states in the US have either banned it or have not enforced it.
While this law might sound like something that is good but its logic is founded in misogyny. At the time, women were expected to be virgins on their wedding day, however being engaged allowed couples to be involved in premarital sex (as an unspoken exception to the rule). If a man decided to end the engagement after the woman had been engaged, she was socially considered unfit for marriage.
Engagement rings were not as popular with men during this time because women didn't need "collateral." The ability of men to marry later didn't depend on whether they'd been engaged or had a sexual relationship prior to.
The slogan "A diamond is forever" rings with a cement-like coating as gifts to women.
In 1947, the De Beers diamond company used this slogan to link diamonds with the "foreverness" of marriage. Diamonds became more popular and accessible to Americans when they began to open new mines, starred in movies stars and advertised. Men started choosing diamond engagement rings to prove they were serious about the "forever" part (and that they wouldn't end the engagement and get sued).
De Beers' success in marketing, as well as the social and legal views on engagement at the time has led to the traditional engagement ring, which many people picture when they think of engagement rings.
Ironically, De Beers did run ads advertising diamond rings for men too but the idea never really caught on.
De Beers was the one who made diamond engagement rings a hit however, they didn't invent them. Archduke Maximillian of Austria was the first to introduce the trend to European nobles when he ordered one for his wife Mary of Burgundy in 1477.
Popular Engagement Ring Styles for Men
Classic bands
A simple, sleek gold or silver band without stones or decorations creates an elegant and timeless appearance. They are timeless and look like many men's wedding bands. Bands are available in a variety of colors, metals and thicknesses, to match the individual's preferences.
Simple bands can be adorned with an inscribed on the inside, an inscribed stone or small stone on the outside, or one flat, rectangular cut side to add visual interest (similarly to a signet band).
Minimalist designs
Simple designs are great for those who don't want to fuss. Many minimalist rings have a metal band that has just one small rectangular-shaped or square-cut stone (usually a stone). The stone is usually incorporated into the band instead of being supported by prongs.
Certain designs don't include stones, but they use clean, simple lines and patterns to create visual interest around the band.
Statement rings
Who says a man's engagement ring must be subtle? Statement jewelry can be created using any type of metal band, in any color, thickness or design, based on the style and preference of the wearer. Instead of traditional diamonds, these rings also feature colorful stones like sapphires, rubies, emeralds, and more (some even blend different cuts, colors, and varieties of gems).